Tiddlers.

This makes me sick to my stomach. I’ll give you a little bit of background, but I’ll let Suetonius tell you all the vomit inducing details.

Caesar Tiberius, the second Roman Emperor was a dirty old man. In a time before X-rated movies existed, he got actors to perform in orgies for him. He even had an erotic library in case his teams of “wantons” didn’t know the right moves to perform.

The “dirty old goat”

As disgusting as this is, chapter 44 of Suetonius’ life of Tiberius is seriously something else.

PLEASE CONSIDER NOT READING THE FOLLOWING.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

He acquired a reputation for still grosser depravities that one can hardly bear to tell or be told, let alone believe. For example, he trained little boys (whom he termed tiddlers) to crawl between his thighs when he went swimming and tease him with their licks and nibbles; and unweaned babies he would put to his organ as though to the breast, being by both nature and age rather fond of this form of satisfaction.

I am deeply sorry to anyone reading this.

As much as I like Rome, I’m glad it’s gone.